Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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