Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
