with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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