The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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