Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.