Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he thought i was a dude.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize
