last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
