im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
