we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
