We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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