people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
