Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
