so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
