It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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