Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize