I like to think it a success when the cops are called
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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