Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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