Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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