This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
