yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You can't special order awesome
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
