I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
