How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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