i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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