Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
