hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
