Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
