I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
well you can't waste a boner
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
