marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
