my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
