Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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