my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
