I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
