can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
