Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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