In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have aggressive nipples.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
