So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
