My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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