just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
