he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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