well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
