she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
