I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
