I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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