I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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