We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
