thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize