i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
