How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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