i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
