what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
