At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
