Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize