i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
