I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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