what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.