How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
